I smiled this morning...

when I logged in to check my email. I realized I've never moved the email from our agency (the one giving us the first information on Laney & her pictures) to a different file. It's still in my inbox. It makes me smile every time I see it. I can't believe we're so blessed!

I also wanted to mention that I've added some banners to my blog. Both for One and Red. These organizations work to eradicate suffering in the world...poverty & AIDS specifically. I have supported both for some time now and I urge you to read over their information and think about how you might help. Our planet is hurting and God has put us here, at this time, for a reason. Let's do the most with what we have.
Reach out and give in whatever way you can.
If not us, then who?
If not now, when?
Spread the word.
Seek social justice.
Work for peace.
Touch others with Love.

I belong...

to this wonderful email loop of other CCAI families who are waiting to go and pick up their children. I've learned so much from the btdt families, and so much support and understanding from those who are waiting for the first time...like me.

Yesterday I posted to the group and this is what I said, "This is the hardest wait I've ever
had! I've had three birth children, and pregnancy was NEVER this tough! I really feel like my brain is split in half. I can't think straight. I can't concentrate. I can't focus on anything. I'm totally excited, completely nervous, utterly happy, irrevocably smitten, all-together READY TO BE ON A PLANE!"

Yep sweet Laney, that pretty much sums up what your mama is going through. Love you though ~ and you're SO worth it!

I'm really struggling today...

the wait is so hard. Some days seem easier than others. Today is crazy-hard. The kind of tough that makes your heart ache. But then I stare at her face and I remember. It's 3 in the morning in China right now. My sweet baby daughter is sleeping...and I just want to be there to hold her and rock her and love on her.

I'm praying that we are able to really enjoy our family vacation we're taking in a couple of weeks. I need to calm down and focus on enjoying each day we have as a family...even though we aren't all together yet. Hopefully, when we return mid-July, we'll be coming home to more news about when we'll be traveling.

Day 40 of the LOA/TA wait...

and still no word on when we'll be traveling. This waiting game is so hard! I can't wait to book those tickets and board that plane.

Read this today....

I thought it was powerful.

A Franciscan Benediction

May God bless you with discomfort
At easy answers, half-truths, and superficial relationships
So that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger
At injustice, oppression, and exploitation of people,
So that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears
To shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war,
So that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and
To turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness
To believe that you can make a difference in the world.
So that you can do what others claim cannot be done
To bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.

I was at Target today...

and I bought things for both of my little daughters. Landry was the VERY proud recipient of her first pack of "big girl" panties. She now owns 7 pairs of pink Elmo panties and I've never seen anyone grinning so wide. :) I was really wanting to wait for potty training until after Laney comes home. I just don't want to go through all of that work and then have Landry regress...but she seems adamant that she doesn't want to wear diapers anymore...SO, we're embarking on the adventure.

The other thing I picked up was a Bumbo seat for Laney. I know she is sitting up some on her own, but the seat looks like the perfect thing to help her gain balance and strength. It's soft but sturdy and Landry is enjoying sitting in it in the meantime. Everybody needs a Bumbo.

Sent off a 2nd care package this morning...

This one wasn't quite as elaborate as the 1st, but I did tuck in a few containers of Gerber Puffs (Cherry, Strawberry-Banana and Sweet Potato) for my sweet baby girl (I wanted to tuck in a canned ham and some scrambled eggs, but I didn't. LOL!!) ...and some fancy candies for her nannies. The main thing I included was two more disposable cameras. I'm really hoping we'll get all 3 of them back when we go to get Laney. I'm anxious for every picture I can get of her.

Today lots of new referrals are flying in for families and it's so much fun to watch the referral photos going up on blogs! I'm just loving seeing these sweet children finding forever families...and watching families have their dreams come true!

33 days...

since we filed our LOI. While we're waiting for TA, I've been busy "working" on getting some things bought & packed for Miss Laney. I use the word working very loosely, since buying clothes for my girls is pure fun...no work. Here are just a couple of the outfits I've picked up for my sweet girl.

Update on Laney!

I was so excited. Today we had a surprise in the mail from Pam at CCAI. Another update on our daughter!

She is 14 months old...27" tall, 14.5 pounds. Teeny-tiny, but oh so cute!

She has 2 teeth on the bottom. I almost started crying when I realized she already has teeth! It says she can sit, crawl and stand. They describe her personality as extroverted, loving to smile & play. Her nanny describes her as a happy & lively baby. :)

She understands the meaning of what adults say. She also understands some simple instructions from adults, such as "pick up your bottle" and "nod your head," etc. She likes to play outside and likes all kinds of toys. Sometimes when she stays in her crib, she will mischievously crawl to a neighboring child's crib, reach in and sneek her toy away. LOL!

She is only receiving 5 bottles of milk & two bowls of cereal daily. No protein and not a lot of calories. We are so anxious to bring her home and get her on a better diet! I know we'll see her grow.

We can't wait to bring you home sweet girl! I love you!

I put zero stock in this...

but according to the Chinese lore, Laney was born in the Year of the Dog. Supposedly, people born in that year are honest, faithful, and loyal to those they love. They also have sharp tongues, tend to worry and are perfectionists....Wait a minute...who are we talking about here? That all sort of sounds like me. LOL!

Anyway, people born under this sign would make excellent teachers, activists or secret agents. Hmm..... somehow the thought of my tiny daughter being a "secret agent" cracks me up! LOL! I hope she goes with activist. :)

Today we have been waiting...

27 days for our TA. You calculate the wait from the date of LOI or LID (whichever comes latter.) In our case, our LOI was sent on 5/3, so today we're at 27 days waiting. Travel Approvals can come without much notice, but in general they seem to be running around 90 days. SO, we're about 1/3 of the way there. I'll be starting to get VERY anxious for that phone call when we see July drawing to a close. :)

In other news, we're leaving tomorrow for a weekend in Lincoln, NE ~ Troy's home town. I'm attending a Football 101 for Women (yes, it is hard to say that without laughing) at Memorial Stadium. I'm going with one of my best friends so it will be fun! I'm really looking forward to it. We get to meet some of the players, walk on the field, meet the coaches, etc. It's an all-day event on Friday and then the husbands will meet up with us at the stadium in the evening for a party.

Thursday will just be spent with our friends...enjoying seeing them and their kids. Then on Saturday, we'll all pile into the minivans (matching silver Honda Odysseys...it's like the Odyssey fleet... LOL! ) and we'll head over to Omaha to visit the zoo. It's supposed to be amazing! I'm anxious to see the desert exhibit.

A couple of thoughts...

First, it's only been one month since we first heard those amazing words, "We have a baby for you." I feel like Laney has always been on her way to us. I suppose she has. All of our children have been destined to be in our arms...by birth or adoption.

Second, I was able to drop by my great-aunt's house yesterday and show her the updated photos of Laney. My aunt is 85 this year...and more like a grandmother than an aunt. She is the dearest, sweetest thing. She wasn't completely "keen" on the idea of our adoption plans when she first heard them, but she is now fully on-board. She loved the updated photos and kept remarking over and over again how cute Laney is. I am so thankful my aunt is alive and well, and able to take part in the joy of this fourth baby.

Deciding on the perfect name...

We love the name Laney Kate. :) And of course, we think Laney's Chinese name is wonderful too. Jin Yu Rao. With a 10 letter last name, I don't want to saddle her with a name that will NEVER fit in any application form boxes. LOL! So, I think we've settled on:


Laney Kate Rao Schoeppner


(a little from us, a little from China...perfect)

Laney ~ means bright light
Kate ~ means pure
Rao ~ means beautiful & charming

All of those certainly sum up how we feel about our wonderful new baby! :)

So, I *just* posted yesterday...

and said I had finally gotten too anxious and emailed Pam at CCAI and asked about our pre-approval. She just called me a few minutes ago and our PA arrived today!! Yay!

One more step toward Laney! Now we're waiting for our LOA (letter-of-acceptance) and TA (travel-approval). Pam did say that even though she thinks we'll be traveling in August, it does depend on where our dossier is at the moment and how close it is to being in the match room. She said, "Think September, and then be all excited when it comes in August." That was tough to hear, but I know we won't step foot in China one day sooner than we are supposed to.

LID 3/23/07
Match 5/1/07
LOI 5/3/07
PA 5/25/07
LOA?
TA?
Gotcha Day?

Spoke with our agency...

today and Pam, our wonderful Waiting Child specialist at CCAI (We love you Pam!), told me that we probably won't be flying in July (although it's possible), but that August looks very likely. It's still a guessing game until we know for sure, but I'm going with her best guess. :)

August seems so much farther away than July, but I'm learning to take it one day at a time. We'll be in Ludington for family vacation from 6/26-7/16...so when we return, it will just be 2 weeks until August! See, it sounds closer already! LOL! Wouldn't seeing/holding Laney be a fabulous birthday (8/13) present for me this year?

I met with our pediatrician yesterday and I now have all the Rx and meds we could ever possibly need for Laney in China. Antibiotics, lice stuff, scabies stuff, eczema lotion, ors (oral rehydration solution --- fancy word for powdered pedialyte), diaper rash stuff, etc., etc., etc. We'll have a small pharmacy in our carry-on luggage. But better to take it and not use it, than get there and be stranded, eh?

Amazing, encouraging article...

My sweet friend Kristin H, called me this morning, from Starbucks and read this article from the NY Times to me over the phone. I was in the car, cell phone in hand, listening and weeping. She was in Starbucks, cell in hand, reading & weeping with me. What a beautiful testament to a mamma's love for her child and walking out a faith in what we do not see ~ holding fast to what is always true. I pray that Laney remains healthy, gets stronger and gains weight. But we already love her and she is our daughter regardless of what obstacles may come our way.

My First Lesson in Motherhood

By ELIZABETH FITZSIMONS

Published: May 13, 2007

I SAW the scar the first time I changed Natalie’s diaper, just an hour after the orphanage director handed her to me in a hotel banquet room in Nanchang, a provincial capital in southeastern China.

Despite the high heat and humidity, her caretakers had dressed her in two layers, and when I peeled back her sweaty clothes I found the worst diaper rash I’d ever seen, and a two-inch scar at the base of her spine cutting through the red bumps and peeling skin.

The next day, when the Chinese government would complete the adoption, also was Natalie’s first birthday. We had a party for her that night, attended by families we’d met and representatives of the adoption agency, and Natalie licked cake frosting from my finger. But we worried about a rattle in her chest, and there was the scar, so afterward my husband, Matt, asked our adoption agency to send the doctor.

We had other concerns, too. Natalie was thin and pale and couldn’t sit up or hold a bottle. She had only two teeth, barely any hair and wouldn’t smile. But I had anticipated such things. My sister and two brothers were adopted from Nicaragua, the boys as infants, and when they came home they were smelly, scabies-covered diarrhea machines who could barely hold their heads up. Yet those problems soon disappeared.

I believed Natalie would be fine, too. There was clearly a light on behind those big dark eyes. She rested her head against my chest in the baby carrier and would stare up at my face, her lips parting as she leaned back, as if she knew she was now safe.

She would be our first child. We had set our hearts on adopting a baby girl from China years before, when I was reporting a newspaper story about a local mayor’s return home with her new Chinese daughter. Adopting would come later, we thought. After I became pregnant.

But I didn’t become pregnant. And after two years of trying, I was tired of feeling hopeless, of trudging down this path not knowing how it would end. I did know, however, how adopting would end: with a baby.

So we’d go to China first and then try to have a biological child. We embarked on a process, lasting months, of preparing our application and opening our life to scrutiny until one day we had a picture of our daughter on our refrigerator. Fourteen months after deciding to adopt, we were in China.

And now we were in a hotel room with a Chinese doctor, an older man who spoke broken English. After listening to Natalie’s chest, he said she had bronchitis. Then he turned her over and looked at her scar.

Frowning, he asked for a cotton swab and soap. He coated an end in soap and probed her sphincter, which he then said was “loose.” He suspected she’d had a tumor removed and wondered aloud if she had spina bifida before finally saying that she would need to be seen at the hospital.

TWO taxis took us all there, and as we waited to hear news, I tried to think positive thoughts: of the room we had painted for Natalie in light yellow and the crib with Winnie the Pooh sheets. But my mind shifted when I saw one of the women from the agency in a heated exchange in Chinese with the doctors, then with someone on her cellphone. We pleaded with her for information.

“It’s not good,” she said.

A CT scan confirmed that there had been a tumor that someone, somewhere, had removed. It had been a sloppy job; nerves were damaged, and as Natalie grew her condition would worsen, eventually leaving her paralyzed from the waist down. Control over her bladder and bowels would go, too; this had already begun, as indicated by her loose sphincter. Yes, she had a form of spina bifida, as well as a cyst on her spine.

I looked at my husband in shock, waiting for him to tell me that I had misunderstood everything. But he only shook his head.

I held on to him and cried into his chest, angry that creating a family seemed so impossible for us, and that life had already been so difficult for Natalie.

Back at the hotel, we hounded the women from the agency: Why wasn’t this in her medical report? How could a scar that size not be noticed? It was two inches long, for God’s sake.

They shook their heads. Shrugged. Apologized.

And then they offered a way to make it better.

“In cases like these, we can make a rematch with another baby,” the one in charge said. The rest of the process would be expedited, and we would go home on schedule. We would simply leave with a different girl.

Months before, we had been presented with forms asking which disabilities would be acceptable in a prospective adoptee — what, in other words, did we think we could handle: H.I.V., hepatitis, blindness? We checked off a few mild problems that we knew could be swiftly corrected with proper medical care. As Matt had written on our application: “This will be our first child, and we feel we would need more experience to handle anything more serious.”

Now we faced surgeries, wheelchairs, colostomy bags. I envisioned our home in San Diego with ramps leading to the doors. I saw our lives as being utterly devoted to her care. How would we ever manage?

Yet how could we leave her? Had I given birth to a child with these conditions, I wouldn’t have left her in the hospital. Though a friend would later say, “Well, that’s different,” it wasn’t to me.

I pictured myself boarding the plane with some faceless replacement child and then explaining to friends and family that she wasn’t Natalie, that we had left Natalie in China because she was too damaged, that the deal had been a healthy baby and she wasn’t.

How would I face myself? How would I ever forget? I would always wonder what happened to Natalie.

I knew this was my test, my life’s worth distilled into a moment. I was shaking my head “No” before they finished explaining. We didn’t want another baby, I told them. We wanted our baby, the one sleeping right over there. “She’s our daughter,” I said. “We love her.”

Matt, who had been sitting on the bed, lifted his glasses, and, wiping the tears from his eyes, nodded in agreement.

Yet we had a long, fraught night ahead, wondering how we would possibly cope. I called my mother in tears and told her the news.

There was a long pause. “Oh, honey.”

I sobbed.

She waited until I’d caught my breath. “It would be O.K. if you came home without her.”

“Why are you saying that?”

“I just wanted to absolve you. What do you want to do?”

“I want to take my baby and get out of here,” I said.

“Good,” my mother said. “Then that’s what you should do.”

In the morning, bleary-eyed and aching, we decided we would be happy with our decision. And we did feel happy. We told ourselves that excellent medical care might mitigate some of her worst afflictions. It was the best we could hope for.

But within two days of returning to San Diego — before we had even been able to take her to the pediatrician — things took yet another alarming turn.

While eating dinner in her highchair, Natalie had a seizure — her head fell forward then snapped back, her eyes rolled and her legs and arms shot out ramrod straight. I pulled her from the highchair, handed her to Matt and called 911.

When the paramedics arrived, Natalie was alert and stable, but then she suffered a second seizure in the emergency room. We told the doctors what we had learned in China, and they ordered a CT scan of her brain.

Hours later, one of the emergency room doctors pulled up a chair and said gravely, “You must know something is wrong with her brain, right?”

We stared at her. Something was wrong with her brain, too, in addition to everything else?

“Well,” she told us, “Natalie’s brain is atrophic.”

I fished into my purse for a pen as she compared Natalie’s condition to Down syndrome, saying that a loving home can make all the difference. It was clear, she added, that we had that kind of home.

She left us, and I cradled Natalie, who was knocked out from seizure medicine. Her mouth was open, and I leaned down, breathing in her sweet breath that smelled like soy formula.

Would we ever be able to speak to each other? Would she tell me her secrets? Laugh with me?

Whatever the case, I would love her and she would know it. And that would have to be enough. I thanked God we hadn’t left her.

She was admitted to the hospital, where we spent a fitful night at her bedside. In the morning, the chief of neurosurgery came in. When we asked him for news, he said, “It’s easier if I show you.”

In the radiology department screening room, pointing at the CT scan, he told us the emergency room doctor had erred; Natalie’s brain wasn’t atrophic. She was weak and had fallen behind developmentally, but she had hand-eye coordination and had watched him intently as he examined her. He’d need an M.R.I. for a better diagnosis. We asked him to take images of Natalie’s spine, too.

He returned with more remarkable news. The M.R.I. ruled out the brain syndromes he was worried about. And nothing was wrong with Natalie’s spine. She did not have spina bifida. She would not become paralyzed. He couldn’t believe anyone could make such a diagnosis from the poor quality of the Chinese CT film. He conceded there probably had been a tumor, and that would need to be monitored, but she might be fine. The next year would tell.

There would be other scares, more seizures and much physical therapy to teach her to sit, crawl and walk. She took her first steps one day on the beach at 21 months, her belly full of fish tacos.

NOW she is nearly 3, with thick brown hair, gleaming teeth and twinkling eyes. She takes swimming lessons, goes to day care and insists on wearing flowered sandals to dance. I say to her, “Ohhhh, Natalie,” and she answers, “Ohhhh, Mama.” And I blink back happy tears.

Sometimes when I’m rocking her to sleep, I lean down and breathe in her breath, which now smells of bubble-gum toothpaste and the dinner I cooked for her while she sat in her highchair singing to the dog. And I am amazed that this little girl is mine.

It’s tempting to think that our decision was validated by the fact that everything turned out O.K. But for me that’s not the point. Our decision was right because she was our daughter and we loved her. We would not have chosen the burdens we anticipated, and in fact we declared upfront our inability to handle such burdens. But we are stronger than we thought.

A photograph of our daughter....

Yesterday we received Laney's finding ad in the mail. Since 1999, the orphanages in China are required to run a provincial newspaper advertisement for children that are found and brought to their orphanage. We call them "Finding Ads." These ads contain information about where and when the children were found and which orphanage is caring for them. Originally these were text-only ads, but most provinces now include photographs in their ads. These photographs are usually the earliest available pictures of the children, some from as young as a few weeks old. I hired Brian Stuy (Research-China.org) to locate Laney's ad for us. He found it and forwarded it to us. The picture is so sweet! It ran in the paper June 8, 2006 -- approximately 2 weeks after she was born. You can totally tell it's Laney. What a precious gift to have a picture of her from so early in her life. She was so adorable. What a treasure!

A piece is missing....

I've always been someone who is easily distracted, a thousand projects going at once, something on the back burner at all times, new ideas all the time....you get the picture. BUT, I'm also able to have great focus on the things I love. There is never a time when I'm not loving Troy and my three sweet munchkins 100%. Lately, I'm so torn! It isn't that I'm not loving them with the same intensity, but I feel like I'm a little lost. I feel spacey and disconnected. I'm distracted. I'm somewhat distant. I'm anxious to have Laney home.

Now that I have her picture and I can see her sweet eyes and I know how very tiny she is and how much she needs us, it makes the wait horribly difficult. My heart has a piece missing now and that piece is in China...in Guangxi...in Guiping City...in a small crib, nestled next to my daughter.

I cannot wait for the day when we have returned with her and my family ~ my heart ~ is finally back as one.

I went "shopping" today...

for my little one. I realize that it's early and I should pack light, and that they really do sell clothes in China...but when I got the update this morning I just felt like I had to do something --- well, celebratory! :) Laney needs clothes! LOL!

I had fun "online" browsing and found several tres chic little outfits -- all in 6-9 month size. It was fun! Can't wait to see her in them.

Troy and I also thought through our carseat situation and realized we need to buy a new one! We figured by the time our referral call came in, Landry would be 3.5 and in a booster. But Laney arrived early! So we'll have two in diapers and two in a 5-point harness. No worries. Just ordered Laney her own Britax Marathon carseat and it will be here and installed when we come home from the airport. Yay!

More pictures....

More pictures of our sweet girl!

We got an update!

We're still waiting for our PA (pre-approval) from the CCAA, but this morning I had a wonderful update from the orphanage and several new pictures of Laney! She is getting to be such a big girl (not big, size wise, but because of all that she can do!) It says she can sit, crawl, and even walk while holding on to something. She is still super petite (26"), but her mental development is right on target and she is doing wonderfully!

Here is a new picture off our little sweetie! I just could just melt looking at this beautiful eyes and soft cheeks. I do think she needs to be in something a little more *pink* though. Don't worry Laney. Mommy will remedy that situation when we arrive.

I've spent the last few days researching....

Laney's special need a little more. Because she was premature at birth and still hasn't caught up "weight-wise" yet, she is considered special needs. She is in the 3rd percentile for weight/height on a US growth chart and the 5th percentile in weight/height on an Asian growth chart.

I visited a website called Orphan Doctor and learned some new possible reasons for Laney's delay, as well as what we might expect when she comes home. This website provides education for adopting families (both domestic as well as international) concerning health, counseling, etc -- both preadoptive info as well as post-adoptive resources.

Here is what I learned about delayed growth development:

Children living in orphanages in China are malnourished, but the severity of the poor nutrition varies from orphanage to orphanage. It is impossible to generalize about the health and nutritional status of all children living in orphanages in China. There are orphanages with more resources than others and even when an orphanage has been reported to have better living conditions, that orphanage can be altered by the economy of the region during different times of the year and in different years. Most kids living in orphanages are fed very dilute formula in infancy. The formula is usually milk-based and resembles standard baby formula used in the U.S. Rice cereal is often added to thicken the feeds. Occasionally children will get a steamed egg or a bowl of rice congi. On holidays, bananas and oranges are sometimes available. Feeds are fast and furious and bottles are propped. Children get used to a speedy avalanche of fluid without much nutritional value which can lead to difficulties with coordinating swallowing and the handling of different textures of foods during the transition after adoption (oral aversion).

The poor quality of nutrition and lack of exposure to sun leads to vitamin D and calcium deficiency which is called rickets. This is one of the top five medical issues in children living in China (malnutrition, rickets, anemia, lead poisoning, and asthma). The characteristic "Raggedy Ann" or floppy appearance of many children adopted from China is attributed to rickets. With proper nutrition, rickets resolves. The muscles and bones are weak and poorly developed in ricketic kids, but with replenishment with vitamin D and calcium, the body strengthens. Rickets can clearly account for a lot of the gross motor delays that are seen when kids first arrive. Obviously, decreased muscle tone and delayed gross motor development cannot always be attributed to rickets, but the first assumption should be that nutrition is the cause. Proper follow-up with the pediatrician on a regular ongoing basis will allow exploration of other causes as time goes by.

Babies and toddlers adopted from China may also be quite small when they are first adopted by families. The body slows its growth when nutrition is poor in order to conserve energy to meet basic metabolic needs. The undernutrition described above clearly accounts for most failure to thrive that we see in children adopted from abroad in general. Typically weight catches up before height. Certainly, genetic characteristics of a particular culture must be kept in mind when evaluating a child for growth failure or failure to thrive. There are Chinese children who are small, but not all Chinese are small people.

It is essential that the pediatrician plot the child on a standard Chinese growth chart if the child appears to be small to give the child the benefit of the doubt. If the child's anthropometric measurements (height, weight, and head circumference) are found on a standard American growth chart, then I would suggest that the American growth curve is appropriate.

This is so helpful! We just received Laney's Denver Development Screening results last week, and she is doing *everything* she should be doing at 13.5 months old -- considering she is in an SWI. She is standing (w/out holding on to something), she is stacking blocks, pincer grip is good, saying one word phrases, etc.) She isn't walking yet, but that is common with babies of this age in an orphanage. We are so encouraged! This means she is healthy and learning and her body is giving the most nutrients (as it should) to her brain, even if her body is on the tiny side.

We're prepared to keep her on good rich, fortified formula for the first year she is home, if not longer -- just to help boost her protein & nutrients. And of course, I know when she is getting lots of love & hugs & kisses -- as well as proper stimulation, gross motor development opportunities and better food -- we'll see her advance in so many ways. She may always be on the shorter side, but that is just fine. We are so excited to get this baby home! We love you Laney ~ so, so much.

Questions for Laney's Nanny...

We'll be meeting Laney's care giver (nanny) either in Nanning or when we visit the orphanage in Guiping. It's important, if given the opportunity, that I have a list of questions ready to ask. This might be my only chance to gain insight into what my daughter's world was like before we arrived...what her dislikes/likes are, etc.

Here are some of the things we hope to ask:


1) Does she have any allergies to foods, medicines?


2) Is she prone to any particular illnesses or infections?


3) What is her nickname, or the name she was called daily?


4) When she is upset, what soothes her best?


5) When she is playing, what is her favorite toy?


6) What foods does she eat? How often does she eat? How much?


7) What are her sleep habits? Does she sleep with a light on? Does she sleep alone?


8) What is she able to do? What toys does she like to play with?


9) Was there a note found with the child? If so, may we please have a copy?


10) Are there any photos of Xiao Nian we can have?


11) May we have copies of her medical records?

12) What do you wish for Jin Yu Rao's future?

Waiting now is so much harder...

Now that we have a match...we're holding Laney's picture...dreaming of seeing her and bringing her home ~ each day seems like ten. The wait is so hard!

This week I'm working on pre-packing lists. Trying to figure out all the things we'll need to take with us and see what we're missing and what I can start buying now.

Laney's care package...

Lily and I got to spend some wonderful mommy/daughter time yesterday. We went and bought things for Laney's care package! Yay!! Our agency provides us with the orphanage address (in Mandarin and English so it will get there faster!), and even a letter translated into Mandarin so the nannies & director will understand who the things are intended for. We're sending Laney a rattle (Lily picked it out!), a little outfit (guessing on the size!), a soft, snuggly blankie-bear, and a baby photo album of her new family. CCAI gave us labels for the pictures (mommy, daddy, big sister, etc.) in Mandarin, so hopefully her nanny can begin sharing those with her. It's probably a long shot, but she'll be almost 17 months by the time we bring her home, and she might feel more comfortable those first few days if she's seen us before.

We tucked in a disposable camera (labeled with her name in Chinese), included a request that the nannies take pictures of her and her surroundings, favorite toys, etc. Sometimes they won't or don't, but CCAI said the orphanages are usually very good about this and they'll bring the camera with her when they deliver the babies in China.

I also included four bottles of scented lotion, each wrapped in red tissue paper, and labeled for the orphanage director and her nannies. When we pick up Laney, we're expected to present gifts for each of the people who cared for her. And in the care packages, it's customary to include a few things as well.

Praying this package arrives safely and swiftly! Laney, we're truly coming for you, sweet one!

Had a fabulous surprise last night...

Four of my dearest friends surprised me last night (around 8:30) and showed up at my house to "kidnap" me for an evening of fun and Laney celebration. It was one of the sweetest things! We went to Starbucks (they know what I love! LOL!) and we laughed and talked and dreamed about my newest baby. My friend, Laurie Mac, brought me the most adorable little dress that one of her girls wore. It just melted my heart! And another friend, Laurie W (who has two children from China), brought me several of these beautiful traditional Chinese silk dresses that her daughter had worn. She had saved them for Laney.

*cue happy tears*

I loved each moment I experienced with those friends last night. Crystal has such huge heart. Katie is so full of joy and what an encourager! Laurie W is beautifully tender and brilliantly wise at the same time. Laurie Mac has empathy and is able to verbalize what I'm thinking when the words escape me. I love having friends who celebrate with me in such a personal and specific way! My heart was full last night.

And I slept until 6 am this morning! I was thrilled! Let me explain....Since we received our referral call, I have not been sleeping. Just too excited. :) My friend Jess, who is also adopting, says that when you're pregnant you can't sleep because the baby-in-your-belly gets in the way. And when you're adopting you can't sleep because your baby is so far away. So true. So the girls prayed for me last night, that I would be able to sleep. And I came home and slept peacefully. It was lovely. :)

Our Timeline

For those of you reading my blog who are in-process, or beginning the process, it is sometimes helpful to see the timeline of events. Clearly, we did not expect to receive a referral just 6 weeks after our LID! That was a beautiful surprise. Our baby came to us from the waiting child list and so we received that amazing phone call about 2 years earlier than we anticipated. We are so grateful! Everything else about our timeline/dossier compilation, however, seems to be fairly consistent with what you can expect.


July 2006 -- We began talking in earnest about adopting from China

August 21, 2006 -- Made the decision to apply to CCAI

August 31, 2006 -- Completed the CCAI application

September 1, 2006 -- Mailed application to CCAI

September 5, 2006 -- Application arrived

September 6, 2006 -- Mailed in Waiting Child Checklist

Setepmber 9, 2006 -- CCAI approved our application

September 12, 2006 -- Selected & called our social worker

October 11, 2006 -- Began our homestudy

November 27, 2006 -- Homestudy was completed

December 6, 2006 -- Visited USCIS for fingerprinting & I-600A

January 19, 2007 -- Dossier sent for Authentication

February 15, 2007 -- Received I-171H in the mail

March 2, 2007 -- Completed Dossier mailed to CCAI

March 9, 2007 - We’re DTC!

March 23, 2007 -- Official LID!

May 1st, 2007 -- Referral Day! We met precious Jin Yu Rao! What a joyful surprise!

Travel? (stay tuned....)

Laney's birth place....

Nanning is the capital city of Guangxi, and Laney's city (Guiping) is four hours due east from Nanning.

Changed our ticker...

We had a ticker counting down from our LID to when Laney comes home. Yesterday, when we received "the call" we were at 1 month, 1 week waiting.

Now, we've started a new ticker to help count down the days from when we received her referral. Having her picture now, knowing just a bit about who she is, seeing her face...this next wait will be even harder than the last six months. We want her in our arms!

Counting the days...

A moment that takes your breath away....

How much can change in one day? Everything!

This morning, at 9:30am, we received a call from our adoption agency that would change the lives of six people....Troy, Becky, Lily, Colby, Landry and a precious baby in China.

This morning, we received a referral call for our daughter...Laney Kate!!!

We expected to receive that amazing call in late 2008. I had a different trip to China planned for this summer. We had a cruise planned for next spring. Everything was organized...The God crashed in with a plan far better than we could imagine.

This morning, we were referred precious Jin Yu Rao...age 13 months. Her name means Beautiful & Charming.

She was born in Guiping City, Guangxi, China, March 21st, 2006. We hope to fly and bring her home as soon as this August or September!

She was only 5 pounds when she was born and was considered premature. She has yet to catch up weight-wise...still very small (10# at 6 months old), and so she was placed on the Waiting Child list -- considered special needs. But developmentally (mentally and physically) she is completely on target. Pulling up, standing when holding on to someone's hand, babbling appropriately, etc. She is 100% healthy... still just very petite. Petite is FINE with us. :)

We got the call this morning. Quickly made calls to my sister & parents. And then at 4:30pm we called CCAI and confirmed that we would love the honor of being her mamma and daddy!

Tonight, we enjoyed a dinner of Chinese food (in honor of the day!) and red velvet cake for dessert. :) Then we showed our three sweet munchkins their new sister's picture! They were so excited they were singing and dancing!

Here is a picture of our baby girl....


We would love any and all prayers for the following:

~ That Laney would sense in her spirit, even now, peace and hope
~ That she would remain healthy & safe
~ That we would have grace poured over our remaining paper work & travel plans
~ That the finances would all come together smoothly
~ That our family would feel a collective excitement and we would remain in good humor and grace-giving to each other...even if things get stressful ;)

Relaxing...

We're on vacation in Ludington this week and next. It's been wonderful to relax and decompress after a hectic, hectic spring! Landry is turning 2 tomorrow...Colby is turning 5 next week (23rd). My little ones are getting big! On one hand, thinking about it makes my eyes tear up. On the other hand, it's really a blessing and loads of fun to see my munchkins growing up.

I'll post pictures of the birthday kids after their party on Saturday. :)

Easter creations...

Today, my mom and I had a wonderful time working on a cake for Easter dessert. We used a bunny mold I found at Williams-Sonoma and it turned out so cute! We used a vanilla poundcake for the bunny, chocolate-covered espresso beans for his eyes, buttercream frosting for his "middle" (between the two halves) and we sprinkled him with some powdered sugar.



Then we worked on making one of those old-fashioned "peek inside" sugar Easter eggs. We used a sugar/meringue powder mixture and patted it into an egg mold. Baked it, and then hollowed it out. I tried to take a picture through the hole, but it's too dark. We tucked little vintage cut-outs of ducklings, rabbits and a pond you can see when you look in the end. The kids are going to love it! The egg is huge. You definitely have to hold it with both hands. :)

The wait....

I keep popping in to my own blog and noticing the cute ticker I added...and realizing that the wait for Laney (around 18 months) is a really, really, really long time. I'm going to have to start adding "and in other news..." sections to my blog so those of you reading don't get tired of continuing to see "Still waiting" posts. :)

So, here..And in other completely unrelated news, my hubby bought me the most fabulous Easter gift. He got me a bottle of Tom Ford's 2007 summer fragrance release from Estee Lauder -- Azuree Soleil Eau Fraiche Skinscent. I bought the LE body oil, similar scent, last year and loved it. This edt is even better! The notes include tiare (gardenia), orange blossom, jasmine, magnolia petals, myrrh, bergamot, mandarin, amber, sandalwood, vetiver, caramel and coconut cream.



It is tropical-beachy, all things girly and summery...a perfect hot weather scent. Reminds me of every warm summer night I spent with friends in college. It has a bit of the sweet smell of coconut-laden suntan oil, but never too much and with soft flowers, sea spray and even a dash of vanilla thrown in. It's absolute perfection. And Troy loves it on me too. :)

And the big brother...

Colby -- who keeps us laughing so hard with his crazy sense of humor and fearless view of life. He is so excited about being Laney's brother!

My girls...

I haven't shared many pictures of two sweet girls on this blog. I want to show you Laney's wonderful big sisters! Lily & Landry are smart and fun and such great friends. Laney is going to be a blessed baby sister. :)

Excellent letter...

I just read this letter from Amy Eldridge (Love Without Boundaries), addressing parental expectations and what kinds of preparations (both practical and emotional) China-adoptive parents need to consider. I think this is truly a must-read.


What to Expect When You're Expecting (from China)..A MUST Read for Adopting Parents

~~from Amy Eldridge


I most definitely wish there was a way to educate ALL adoptive parents about the truths of institutional care, however I have come to realize in my daily work that there are just as many parents who are not online reading everything they can find on adoption as are.

There are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of parents out there who have no idea what life is like for a child in an orphanage, and who head overseas to pick up their "China doll" only to be handed a baby who is unresponsive, thin, unable to eat..and on and on and on. While adopting my son last month, I walked several times over to the White Swan to talk to parents, and over and over I spoke with moms and dads who had no clue whatsoever about the issues their kids were having. I heard so many times things like, "she won't eat solid foods" (oral aversion), "she has no muscle tone" (muscle atrophy from lying in a crib all day), "she won't smile" (pure grieving from being taken from her foster mom). I guess since I live China 24/7, I assume everyone adopting does, too, which is not the case.

I talked to at least a dozen parents who didn't even know their child's orphanage name, and while I gently said "you might want to memorize that for your child's sake", at the same time I was trying to process how many parents get all the way to China without ever reading about post-institutional issues. It was sobering to me.

Babies in the NSN (non special needs) as well as the SN (special needs) path can have issues with attachment, motor skills, emotional issues and more. I think all of us on the WCC (Waiting Children China) list acknowledge that, while also acknowledging that all children (whether bio or not) can have these same issues. Living in an orphanage of course increases the odds.

I think the easy out is to say that agencies have to do more, as well as social workers, but I do think that most of them do try to give information to the parents but often parents don't want to hear it or else think it won't happen to them. Again, I am often surprised to talk to parents leaving soon and to realize they are not prepared. One family was adopting from our foster care program, and when I told them that the child was DEEPLY attached to the mom, the father said, "guess she might cry for an hour or so then?" An hour or so? She had been in foster care for over a year! I tried to explain that this little girl was about ready to lose everything she had ever known, and that they should not expect her to be sunny, happy, and full of personality after an hour. I told them to please remember the 72 hour rule.......that after 72 hours they would probably see her spark, but that she would probably grieve for a long time after that as well.

I think for many adoptive parents, they just don't want to read the "bad stuff", and so I do think that ultimately it is the parents who are at fault for not doing more to educate themselves. There certainly are books galore out there about post-institutional issues. I equate this to when I was pregnant with my kids and I would read "What to Expect When Expecting", and I would get to the C-section part and always skip it. Each and every time I would jump to the next chapter as "that wasn't going to happen to me". Well, on my fifth baby, when they were rushing me in for an emergency C section, I sure was wishing I had read that section earlier! But at that point in the OR, while they were strapping my hands down to the table, it was too late, and so I felt complete panic when I could have been prepared. I think adoption from China is very similar to giving birth...it is much more rosy to only read the happy stories on APC, but I now encourage every family I meet to read the harder ones as well, because if you are the family who is handed a child that is limp and listless and who looks autistic, what you have learned in the past will help you make the right decision for your family during those very emotional first few days.

I have been called many times in the last few years by parents in China worried about their children. I agree that having a support network to help you through the initial time is essential. Everyone should go to China with at least one phone number of someone they can call if they are panicked upon meeting their new child. I remember feeling so alone when I was handed my daughter and she was so tiny and limp. Because our foundation often helps with the kids who have been disrupted, I am aware that sometimes there are children who have much more serious issues than originally reported..and that is such a hard thing for a parent to get to China and then discover their child is truly autistic or has serious mental delays. I think everyone on both the China and international side would agree that it is absolutely wrong of an orphanage to not be honest in their reports, and no one would excuse that, but I also know without a doubt that the majority of kids who are disrupted are just suffering from institutional issues and would catch up quickly in a loving home. It is always a very sad day for the orphanage and everyone involved when a child that they know is absolutely fine, but perhaps thin and grieving, is returned by their new parents for being "delayed".

I think far too many people believe their child's life is going to begin the moment they meet them. The truth is, and everyone must realize it..a child's life is going on RIGHT NOW in China, and all of their experiences are shaping who they are. The vast majority of aunties that I have met in China are such kind and caring people, but it absolutely is not the same as having a mom and dad at your beck and call. I have had new parents call and say "we didn't think living in an orphanage would affect her at all", and those statements truly puzzle me. How could they not contemplate life in an orphanage?

Walk through Babies R Us and you will see every gadget known to man to make our children's lives here as ideal as possible. Now Americans have two way video monitors, so that when baby awakens not only can mommy see when to immediately rush in and comfort him, but she can talk to baby so that he doesn't even have one single second where he feels alone. How many new parents would have a newborn and then put that baby in a crib 22 hours a day on their own? How many would only feed their baby, even if they were really crying hard, every 8 hours? Or prop the bottle in her crib and then not watch to see if she ever really ate?

Of course no one would do that..we feed newborns on demand, comfort on demand, love continuously..and whether people want to recognize it or not, that is NOT the life of an orphan in an institution. ...even when the aunties are as good as gold. I remember one night when I took some volunteers in for the night shift in an orphanage, when normally just a few aunties are working. One mom looked at me with tears in her eyes as she slowly realized that it was absolutely impossible with just two hands to feed every child, to comfort every child, to soothe every baby who was crying. She said her heart was aching to realize that her own daughter most likely had many, many times where she cried without someone to comfort her.....and she told me that for the first time she finally understood why her daughter had such a deep seated fear of being out of her mom's sight.

The aunties are trying their absolute best, but that doesn't equal mother/child care. I remember being in an orphanage in the north this past winter and the aunties were so proud of how they had 6-8 layers of clothes and blankets on every baby to keep them warm. They were swaddled so tight that they couldn't move, but it was freezing in the orphanage and so the aunties wanted the babies to stay as warm as possible. What alternative did they have? It really was freezing there..I was cold in my wool coat, so the babies couldn't be up and about with just 1-2 layers on, with the ability to move their arms and legs. To stay warm they had to be immobile, and so of course all of those kids have weak muscle tone. But the aunties were truly trying their best, and when a parent is given one of those beautiful children on adoption day, I am sure they will go back to their room with concern and say "she can't sit up by herself..she can't put weight on her legs". That is absolutely the truth, but she also survived 10 degree weather in a very cold province and she will catch up soon enough with parents to encourage her.

To not acknowledge that living in orphanage circumstances can cause lower body weights, low muscle tone, inability to make good eye contact is very sad to me. Can it be overcome? Most definitely! The one thing I have learned over and over again about the kids in China is that they are fighters and survivors. But for some reason, people seem to want to ignore these issues in public forums.

Recently, one of our medical babies that we had met several times in person was adopted, and we all knew that this child was a "spitfire". When the family arrived and spent a few days with her, they decided she was too much of a handful for them and they wanted to disrupt. She absolutely was not what they expected. When they called their agency, they were told they had two choices: adopt the child, bring her to the US, and change their expectations of what they were hoping for, or adopt the child, bring her to the US and the agency would have a family waiting at the airport to adopt her locally. Option three of leaving the child in China was never once given. I admire that agency so much, as they were thinking of the child and the child alone. The family followed through with the adoption and handed the little girl to a new family upon her arrival in the US. As horrible and tragic and emotional as it was for everyone involved...I still feel this was the right decision for the agency to make. It was done in the absolute best interest of the child, who had waited a long, long time for a family. I wish more agencies would advocate for the rights of the child, instead of always seeming to give in to the parents, especially in those cases when they know with absolute certainty that nothing is permanently wrong with the child. Recently with another disruption, the agency I spoke with told me that it was "easier" to just get the family a new baby.

Sometimes easier does not equal right. The first baby who was rejected has now been labelled "mentally challenged" even though the agency knew the child was really going to be okay.

I think all of us, who do realize that delays occur and that babies can usually overcome them, should be these children's advocates by continually trying to educate new parents on what to expect in China. By helping them be better prepared, we just might help stop a disruption in the future. I love Chinese adoption with my whole heart, and it is my life's work..but I also want every family who goes to get their baby to go with their eyes open and to be as emotionally prepared as possible, for the child's sake.

Amy Eldridge, Love Without Boundaries

What a beautiful day!!!!!!

We just received our email from CCAI, revealing the news we've been waiting to hear for six months. We have our LID (log-in-date)! The Schoeppner Family's LID is March 23, 2007. The CCAA has accepted our Adoption Petition and has put us in line to adopt a beautiful baby girl.

I am on a fluffy, pink, seriously high Cloud No. 9. This is fabulous news! We got our log-in date in just 2 weeks. It's going to be a long wait, but Laney Kate is one step closer to joining our family forever.

Our dossier is in China!

We just got an email notification that our dossier has been hand delivered to the CCAA (China Center of Adoption Affairs.)


God is good! We are thrilled. Looking forward to finding out our LID!

~~~~ We're DTC! ~~~~

We are rejoicing today. I just got the news from CCAI that we are DTC. This means: Dossier-to-China. Everything has been reviewed, translated, bound, pictures mounted and was sent to the CCAA yesterday late-afternoon via Express Mail.

This is TRULY wonderful news. We are praying for a March LID (log-in-Date) so hopefully the CCAA is moving quickly and this can still be a possibility.

Our agency has been so amazing. We are feeling blessed and excited this day!!

Laney Kate, Mama and Daddy can't wait to meet you!

I can't believe it...

We just got an email from CCAI. We've already moved through Critical Review (What a blessing!!) and our dossier has been sent to the translation department!

Here they will translate the whole dossier into Mandarin and bind it. We'll know more tomorrow or Wednesday. I'm feeling lighter than air right now! What an amazing ride this is.

CCAI has our dossier.

I just got an email from the dossier team. It arrived this morning (7:40AM) via UPS at the CCAI offices. Now we'll wait as it goes through critical review. Each dossier is actually reviewed completely by three separate people to ensure there are NO mistakes and everything is in order. :)

March 2nd......

Finally!!!!

Here are our stats:


1.5 Pounds
41 Stamps and seals
68 Signatures
15 Pictures
183 Days
8 Sets of fingerprints
13 Documents
AND
1 family with hearts full of love and hope....

We are pleased to announce that our dossier has been sent in!!!!!

I can't describe to you the relief and excitement we're feeling right now. Six months of paper chasing, certifications, authentications, home study appointments...it's all finally finished. The stress of paper work is over, now we start down a new path of stress. But it's different now.

Now, each day will bring us closer to our precious Laney Kate!

Now we wait for our agency, CCAI, to pass us through critical review. They will translate our dossier into Mandarin, bind it, place our picture on the cover and send it to China. Our next big step will be when we receive our LID (log-in date). China will "log" us into the system and we'll be officially on the list!

March 2nd -- This has been a great day!

Pictures are here...everything is ready....

just waiting on that I-171H. :)

Hoping...

I would love to get our I-171H back from Chicago today. I ordered all of our family life pictures from Snapfish last week and they should be here today or tomorrow. I want to get this dossier mailed in!! Everything else is ready....just waiting on the ole' mail man.

Just realized...

the Consulate-General's Embassy office in Chicago is closed this week (Mon-Wed) for the Chinese New Year. Our I-171H and G1 form is sitting there, but hopefully they will get to it tomorrow and we'll have it back by Saturday or Monday.

Troy's Birth Certificate is back...

from the Embassy in Washington, D.C. It arrived Express Mail this morning, on President's Day no less. I was very excited. The post guy said they always delivery Express Mail even on holidays. Who knew?

So, now, we're just waiting for the I-171H to come back from Chicago and we'll be ready to mail it all in!! YAY!!!!!!

The GOLDEN TICKET!!!!!!!!

I'm not sure I can even convey how excited we were this afternoon, but when I opened the mail out fell an envelope from USCIS and inside was our coveted I-171H!

We have been "Favorably Approved" to adopt and our application has been fowarded to Guangzhou, China! Wahoo!

This is a HUGE step in the adoption process and we're thrilled. We're hoping we can still be DTC by March. I literally cried when I opened the letter. Just ask my friend Jessica. I called her and she said, "Are you crying?" Yes I am!! LOL! :)

One more step toward Laney!

Guess what??????

I'm going to CHINA! I can't believe it. No, we don't have our referral yet (and won't for probably another 18-20 months, but I'll be going to China this July (July 22-Aug 2). I'm going with a team from Lakeland, to visit the area where our school will be built...and to help reach more of the unreached people.

I'm totally excited! The trip will be part tourist-fun (Great Wall, Forbidden City, etc) and part rigorous missions stuff (hiking up and over mountains, sleeping on floors in dirt huts, etc). I'm thrilled to see and experience any/all of it!

It will be so good to just be in my next baby's homeland. I'm going to miss Troy & the kids like crazy, but he is being so sweet in letting me go. I know he wants to go too. I'm going to take tons of pictures and try to remember everything I see so I can tell him all about it.

And then, of course, we'll be headed back TOGETHER in 2008 -- to get our baby! :)

Powerful...compelling song...

Esther by Sara Groves

Yes! One more piece of paper chased down and redirected...

Troy's birth certificate came back from the US State Dept in D.C. today. I spent half an hour frantically filling out another G-1 form, coping my passport photo page again, making photocopies of all the pages attached to his birth certificate so far, and then headed to the post office. I bought an USPS Express mail envelope and had it prepaid and addressed back to me, added in my $25 money order made out to the Consulate of the P.R. China and then...(whew!) took it all to the UPS Store and sent it BACK to Washington D.C. via Next Day service. Hopefully the Embassy in D.C. will move as quickly as the Embassy in Chicago and I'll have it back next week sometime.

Now, just gotta wait at the finish line for that I-171H.......

I was bopping around...

amongst my laptop sticky notes, and I ran across my "baby name brainstorm" list. (Sidenote on the aforementioned stickies: Troy makes fun of me because I have about 39 different sticky notes that are scattered ALL over my desktop. They are jumbled. They are disorganized. They make me smile. I love them and I know where everything is at all times.)

Anyway, I thought I'd jot that list in here, since this blog is becoming the first few chapters of Laney's baby book. And I have "baby name ideas" listed in all of my other children's baby books.

SO, the final list of names we liked and considered were:

Tessa
Violet
Stella
Sophie
Lucie

But we fell IN LOVE with Laney! Laney Kate is our girl ~ and we love her already. :)

So, where are we at?

Our agency, CCAI (have I mentioned how much I love these people!!), estimate the average family will take 5 months to complete their dossier.

I feel like we're months behind schedule, but I need to take a step back and really evaluate where we're at. We sent our 1st check to CCAI and downloaded the Dossier Manual PDF on 9/11/06. We completed our homestudy in 4 visits and were finished by Thanksgiving.

Today is February 7th and I'm chasing 2 last pieces of paper and we'll be ready to send in our paperwork. The downside? The last 2 papers I need are in people's hands I have no control over making move any faster! USCIS (have I mentioned how NOT rushable the USCIS is? These people will not be hurried), and the US State Dept in D.C.

So, the reality is, even though I feel like we're soo far behind schedule, I really have 4 more official days until we even make the 5 month average dossier timeline date. And then, if it takes me one extra month, that will only be 6 months and that really isn't so bad.

I'm still stressed. :) I still want to see our referral TOMORROW. :) But I feel better. :)

We need to start the campaign -- "Laney Kate in 2008!!"

Several steps forward, a couple back...

So today was filled with ups and downs.

The good points? We received all the documents back from the Consulate General in Chicago today. Yay! That was very quick. Everything looked great. It was exciting to see all the writing in Chinese and the beautiful Chinese chop marks on each piece of paper.

Unfortunately, I goofed and sent Troy's birth certificate to be authenticated in the Chicago zone and it was actually supposed to go to the Washington D.C. zone. Doh! So I got that off today the correct zone and we'll go from there.

We're off to the Consulate General....

Well, we're not, but 12 of our 13 documents are! We're still waiting on the I-171H, but in the meantime I sent off 12 of our documents (the bulk of our dossier) to the Conuslate General of the People's Republic of China in Chicago for authentication. We getting close!!

Homestudy is back...

Our home study came back today from Topeka, with the Secretary of State's certification attached. Now, ALL we're waiting on is that I-171H. Come on USCIS, be nice and get it in the mail! :)

Friday update

We're getting there!

Yesterday I answerd the doorbell ring, and it was the mail lady. I signed for Troy's birth certificate -- back from the Secretary of State's office -- neatly certified.

I also went to the post office yesterday and mailed (overnight-express) our homestudy to the Secretary of State's office in Topeka for certification. I also included a self-addressed overnight-express envelope for return, so hopefully it will come back promptly this week.

SO, that means, all we're waiting on is our I-171H. When that comes, I can have our sweet friend/church secretary (and NOTARY!!) Liz Trotta, notarize it and then I'm off to Chicago for aunthentication for all the documents.

Praying that I-171H comes fast!!

Updates....

It's been awhile since I posted an update. I got so overwhelmed by the dossier paper work before Christmas, that I realized I really needed a break. Holiday vacation in Ludington was wonderful and when I got back I started looking through all of my folders/files and realized I needed to streamline where I am and what's next.

I spent about three hours (night before last) with every single form, paper, certificatie, document, guideline sheet and flow chart spread out on the table. I finally feel like I'm on top of things and I know where we're out.

In reality, we're just waiting for the "Golden Ticket.' The I-171H. However, I still have a few things to finish up and mail off while we're waiting for that to arrive.

First off, I sent Troy's certified birth certificate off the Nebraska Secretary of State's office (the Honorable John Gale - ahem, sir!) to be (get this) "Certified." That's right folks. Apparently an official $15 certified birth certificate ordered from Nebraska's Vital Statistics bureau is not actually certified! Or, at least not certified enough for the CCAA. Sigh... so after another $40 (processing/mailing fees) it's been sent in to NE for certification.

We also have to do this my birth certificate and our marriage license, but thankfully there is a KC branch office of the MO Secretary of State (the Honorable Robin Carnahan - ahem, Ma'am!) so we'll driving down there on Monday.

Next up, I have the stack of dossier papers to be notarized next week as well. 2 physical exam reports, a financial statement, an adoption petition, two employment verification letters, etc.

And finally we need PICTURES. Lots & lots of pictures. My sister is in town this week (YAY!) so she is helping me with that. We have to have 10 family life pictures taken and 3 couple shots.

More later....Landry just found my box of bulk staples for the stapler. Lovely...

Merry Christmas!

Christmas is around the corner. We're enjoying our time in Ludington, but I'm also anxious to get home and finalize our dossier paperwork. I have one more piece of paper to collect, and then we'll head to Topeka to have our dossier certified. Then, we'll send the paperwork to be authenticated and pray that I-171H arrives quickly!

We're off to see the wizard...er, I mean USCIS...

Tomorrow we head to USCIS for our fingerprint appointment and to file the very important I-600A form. The I-600A is an application for the advance placement of an orphan. In other words, "We want to adopt a baby. We don't know who she is yet, but as soon as we do, we want to be able to bring her home and make her our daughter." When they approve us, they'll send us the approval in the form of the I-171H. This form will go into our dossier for China. It is the single most important document in our dossier -- 2nd only to the homestudy.

We have an appointment time (10AM), but everyone keeps warning me to take books, an iPod, etc. Apparently, the wheels of immigration can move fairly slowly. We shall see.......

Guess what I'm holding in my hands? The Home Study!!

Bless God, we're finished with our home study!!! I picked up two copies this morning from our social worker's office. One will go in our files (to take with us to China). One will go with us next week to INS for our fingerprint appiontment and our filing of the I-600A.

Next week, we'll hear back from Nancy Bean when she gets the final Dossier copy notarized and then she'll fed-ex it to us. Yay!!! When we get back from Ludington at the end of December, we'll be ready to go to Topeka for a little "Certification" trip. We'll take all of our dossier documents that have been notarized (which is all of them!) and we'll have the KS Secretary of State certify each. Then we're just one step away from having our dossier finished.

Right now, the job at hand is to take pictures ~ and I mean LOTS of pictures! We need 4 of our house, 8 family life photos (all of us, in different locales) and 6 couple shots (again, different locales). Ever see the movie "Green Card?" Well, then, you know just what we'll be doing for the next few weeks. LOL!

Home Study is COMPLETE!!!

Woo hoo! After weeks and moving and a round of the flu for everyone...our 4th and final home study visit (the one that is actually "in the home") was today ~ and it went well! Yay! Our report should be finished by the end of the week and we'll be able to file our 1-600A form with USCIS and wait for our fingerprint appointments.

The homestudy is the biggest piece of our dossier for China so this is a big day. :) We still won't be on the official "Waiting" list for Laney until that dossier gets to China we have our LID, but this is one huge step.

Feeling very happy, very relieved.... :)

P.S. We've officially decided...Laney Kate (with a K). :)

We've changed her middle name! :) We've decided we love the name Kate too much to let it go. We're going with either:

Laney Cate

or

Laney Kate


We can't decide on spelling yet, but we know we love the name. Now, if we could just go and get her!

A picture is worth a thousand words...

We have received so many kind words and excited smiles as we've told people about our adoption plans. But we've also had a few ask, "Why China?" "Doesn't it seem weird to think of raising someone else's kid?" "Why adopt when you can have your own?" and perhaps our least favorite, "How much is she going to cost you?"

Take 3 minutes and watch this movie. Every time I see it my heart leaps, and I just want to look at each questioning person and say, "We are the blessed ones! We feel so blessed to have been given the opportunity to bring home a precious daughter ~ our daughter ~ and to be her forever family!"

Where we're at today...

Good morning! Popping in for a minute to update our blog.

Today we're visiting with with our social worker for the 3rd time. The next (and final) visit will be at our home with the children. *scary* LOL! So far, I have completely enjoyed our home study. I'm not sure I've enjoyed it to the tune of $1400, but it has truly been beneficial and interesting. Nancy has been incredible to work with. She is very current on China affairs, as well as adoption issues. She has helped us sort through and think about our own desires to adopt, and she has educated us on so many things to expect. Laney's needs, attachment issues, how to incorporate her history into her present, etc. It's been excellent!

One of the things I loved the most was when Nancy talked us through how to create Laney's "Lifebook." It's a picture book of her life -- beginning at birth, not beginning at adoption. To learn more about Lifebooks, and to see examples click on the link I've posted in the bar to the right. Pretty powerful, cool stuff.

In other news, completely adoption un-related, I found a great new blog. It's

http://chocolateandzucchini.com

. Love the foodie discussions and topics. Lots of calorie-laden fun! :) (Good thing I'm back to running... LOL!)

Read this quote and loved it...

It certainly touches my heart as we near the beginning of the long wait.....


"If God, like a father, denies us what we want now, it is in order to give us some far better thing later on. The will of God, we can rest assured, is invariably a better thing." ~ Elisabeth Elliot

Sweetest thing...

Colby said the most adorable thing a few days ago. We were sitting together, talking about our adoption and he said, "Mommy, we don't know what Laney is going to look like yet, do we?"

I answered, "No, we don't."

He sat for a minute and thought about that and then he looked up, grinning and said, "But we do know one thing! We know Laney will be the best baby in China!"

How sweet is that? I love my children. :)

Chasing those darn papers...

The paper chase is surely that -- truly a fast-paced, wacky, frustrating, detail-driven ride that the Chinese government seems determined to keep you on before they'll let you in. But we're chasing just as fast as we can!

Tonight I'm working on typing up our adoption petition and our financial statements. I'm hoping to finish these up tomorrow and then fax them to CCAI for approval. I don't want to waste any time getting papers notarized that are incorrect.

The adoption petition is a one-page, typed document that introduces us as adoptive parents, states our adoption motivations (we want another kid!!), expresses our specific desire for the child we're wishing to adopt, and promises to the China Center of Adoption Affairs (CCAA) that we will love and care for our adopted daughter. Whew!

The financial statement is just a one-page typed statement that lists all of our income, assets, liabilities, etc.

I was getting so frustrated and down today, with all of the hiccups with our home address (house sale, etc), I ordered my new daughter a little gift. It's an adorable onsie/hat set (size 9-12mos) and it reads: "I was worth the wait." Truly she is!

We had our first meeting!

I'm going to write more later. I have so much information spinning through my head right now, but the most important thing is ~ we had our first interview with our Social Worker (Nancy Bean) and it went blazingly well! She is wonderful and we both (Troy said this, it isn't me putting words in his mouth ) really enjoyed it!

Guess who called?

Our SW ~ Miss Nancy Bean. We're so anxious to get the homestudy underway. She seemed great on the phone and we already have all four of our interviews scheduled. The first is set for October 11th. I'm sure I'll have a lot to debrief about when it's over. :)

Whew! Two autobiographies finished!

Today Troy and I cranked out the rest of our autobiographies. His was 6 pages and mine was 8 -- all single spaced. I doubt it comes as a surprise to any of you that mine was longer -- Miss Chatty!

Anyway, they're finished and we'll mail them off to our SW on Monday. Hopefully, we'll be able to start our interviews with her soon. Homestudy completion, here we come!

1st round of fingerprints....

Yesterday Troy and I went to Identix and had our electronic fingerprints done for the State Criminal Record clearances. It took awhile, but the gal said the prints looked good and we should have them back in 5-7 days. Not bad! We have to do another set of fingerprints for the FBI clearance later on.

I'm still about 3 pages away from being finished with my autobiography and Troy hasn't started his yet. He has to finish it next week though, because we have to forward it to our SW. So far, the autobiographies have been the biggest pains in the process. I haven't enjoyed it and I like to write!

Plodding ahead, though, because each piece of paper, appointment and little "hoop" we jump through is bringing us closer to our daughter. :)

Busy with the details...

Troy and I...Let me rephrase that, *I* have been (with lots of hugs from Troy) crazy busy with all of the various writing, gathering and appointment-making for our homestudy. Here are a few things I've been doing:


*Sent off for Child Abuse/Neglect Clearance reports for Mom, Dad, Myself & Troy

*Scheduled Criminal Record Clearance/Fingerprints appointments for Troy & I

*Scheduled our brief physcials + lab work with our doctor for the physcian reference forms

*Ordered new raised-seal copies of our children's birth certificates

*Working on writing my autobiography. Troy needs to start his this week. *hint, hint*

*Filled out employment verification request letters for Troy's work


The autobiography is hard to write! 6-12 pages, single spaced (I'm at page 4), describing your life from birth to the current time. There are so many questions I can't believe it, but I'm just following the guided outline and hoping to finish it up today. Adoption requires so much, but even in the midst of it, I'm feeling a continued sense of peace and excitement. All this stuff WILL get finished, and then the wait will be the hard part.

It arrived and the roller coaster is just cresting the hill...

The payment arrived at 12:00pm Friday to CCAI's offices. We got a confirmation email Saturday night that explained how to access the "expecting parents" portions of the website, download PDFs of our dossier packet (all 45 pages of it!!) and home study flow charts, etc. It's so overwhelming and scary. But we also feel like it's all a dream ~ a dream come true. Troy and I are already headoverheels in love with a child we've never even met. We talk with our other gifts (Lily, Colby & Landry) about her. We pray for her. We can't wait to see her sweet face!

We've decided on her first name:

~ Laney ~

It's sweet and feminine and innocent ~ and fits like it was always meant to be with our other daughters' names. (Lily, Landry & Laney). We still have bloody battles ahead of us to determine what the middle name will be, but for now, we're just going to focus on each piece of paper and appointment we need to complete and make in order to bring her home!!

Edited to add: For now, the winner of "middle name contest" is Rose. ~ Laney Rose ~

We have sent in the...

first payment to CCAI. We both had a little "gulp" in our throats as we wrote out that big check, but we know this is the right thing and so it was a little bit of nerves, mixed with a lot of excitment and joy. We paid extra for overnight delivery and written delivery confirmation. When they receive our check, we'll get our passcodes for the CCAI site...as well as full PDFs of the dossier workbook to go through with Nancy.

We're really doing this! :)

We have a social worker! Drum roll please....

Her name is Nancy Bean. Reminds me of Mr. Bean, but I hope she is more with-it than that. Actually, she's been referred with great marks by three different families so we have high hopes. She seems great..you know, from all that subtext and human emotion that grabs you through emails. LOL! No, but she seems nice enough. And she will play a critical role in our adoption. She is the person we needed to hire to conduct our home study. This is the cornerstone for our dossier.

A home study, for those of you like us who are new to the world of adoption, is a "study" that is written up like a report. It features US (the parents), our kids, our finances, our criminal/sordid or not-so-sordid backgrounds, health physicals, letter references from friends, the house, etc. Bascially, you spill your ENTIRE life into this gal's lap and then she evaluates it and tells you whether or not she thinks you'll make good parents. Lovely, eh? And you get to pay her $1300 for the pleasure!

She's supposed to send us the packet and paper work in a week. Yippee! :)

Nancy Bean...Gotta get used to that name....

About ready to write the first big...

check. Ahhh, the money part of the adoption journey. Everyone keeps asking me, "Why in the heck does it cost so much?" I'm a little offended, because we're already "emotionally" there and the thought of putting any price on our future daughter seems almost inconceivable. On the other hand, there certainly is a reality to the cost involved in adoption -- particularly, International Adoption.

However, we're happily pressing forward in a journey of love, excitement, faith and dollars. :) We have to re-read our final fee agreements, and then sign them in front of a notary public. Thankfully, the secretary at Troy's fire station is a notary so she'll be helping us a lot!

We hope to have the first big check written and mailed off by next Monday.

We've been approved!!

Tonight we received our application approval letter from CCAI!! YAY!! We have an orientation packet to look through, first fee to send in (praying about the $$ already!) and we're down the road motors! Troy and I are equally thrilled and nervous. :)

Here is the email:

September 9th, 2006

Hi Troy & Becky,

Thank you for choosing CCAI. Your application has been approved. Please open and print your Orientation Packet which I have attached. You will find a cover letter with detailed instructions.


There was more about dossier requirements, website login codes, etc. But the important part is that we're in!! :)

This is our "Word Cloud." A generated image composed of the most common words on our adoption blog. Yes, the name does remind one of the infamous "brain cloud" from the classic film, Joe vs. The Volcano. But this is different. Word Clouds are cool. And you can get them printed on tote bags and mugs. I think this one is pretty nifty. :)

Helpful Paper Chase links....

One of the first things new IA parents need to do (and something we'll be doing shortly) is filing a 1-600A form with the USCIS. The 1-600A form is an "Application for Advance Processing of an Orphan Petition." Bascially it means, we want to say *now* that when we go to China we'll be bringing back a child that will be ours.

This form, and others, can be downloaded at: http://www.uscis.gov/graphics/formsfee/forms/


Also, throughout the chase you need several copies of birth certificates, your marriage license, divorce decrees (if you've been so unlucky...or lucky, as the case may be), etc.

These can all be ordered, fresh & crisp, from http://www.vitalchek.com/?clicked=1

One more piece of our application...

Today I mailed in our Medical Checklist for CCAI's Waiting Child Program. China keeps an ever-changing, comprehensive list of children (infants to older children) who have special challenges facing them. Some are babies and children with special needs: physical handicaps, heart defects, vision problems, etc. Others are older children who are perfectly healthy, but difficult to place because of their age.

Troy and I are praying about the possibility that a baby from the Waiting Child list may be "waiting" for us. :) We don't know if this is where we'll find our daughter, but we wanted to add that form to our application so we would be notified if any babies come through CCAI that fit within the parameters we set. CCAI allows you to go through a comprehensive medical checklist and make note of special needs you feel confident and prepared to handle. Troy and I talked through each area and feel good about the addendum we mailed off today.

It's difficult to think that there are precious babies left behind for any reason, but particularly when you see how minor some of the "special needs" are from the list. Things like a birth mark or partial hearing loss may make a child so difficult to place he/she will spend an entire childhood in a SWI (Social Welfare Institute...aka "orphanage.")

We are praying we will find *just* the glorious girl who is meant to be a part of our forever family! If this means an NSN baby ~ wonderful! If it means a precious baby we discover on the waiting list ~ then that will be amazing too. :)

US Postal Service Delivery Confirmation Receipt...

Guess what? For the 1st time EVER (at least for me), a USPS delivery confirmation receipt number worked! YAY!

We tracked our application to CCAI and the website says:

Label/Receipt Number: 0306 0320 0003 9194 6101

Status: Delivered

Your item was DELIVERED at 12:14 pm on September 05, 2006 in ENGLEWOOD, CO 80112.


Yay! I'm such a sentimental dork. :) When you're adopting, every "paper" in the paperchase is precious.

Names

The journey has barely begun and we're already having baby "name" debates. I swear, we've used the only 3 names IN THE WORLD that Troy and I can agree upon with our first three children. This next precious bundle may have to go nameless! LOL! Actually, we're hoping to come up with a name by the time our dossier leaves for China. Then we won't have to go around calling her the "Chinese baby" any more. We can call her by her name! :)

Here are 7 names in the current running:

Cara
Cate
Violet
Vivienne
Stella
Mercy
Lucie

The debate continues......

Adoption Language....the world of acronyms

So Troy and my father have been teasing me about how many acronyms and "letters" I've been tossing about since we began this crazy adoption journey. I keep trying to explain to them that it's easier than saying everything the long way ~ but I realize if they don't know what the letters stand for, then perhaps it isn't. :)

Here is a brief run-down on the adoption acronyms and their meanings:

AP: Adoptive Parent
CA: Consulate Appointment
CCAA:China Centre for Adoption Affairs (in China)
CCAI: Chinese Children Adoption International (our Agency!!)
DOA: Date Of Adoption
DOB: Date Of Birth
DOR: Date Of Referral (This is the day you receive your child's picture and are "matched")
DOT: Date Of Travel (The day you're to leave to pick your baby)
DTC: Dossier To China (The day your huge pile of papers -- your dossier) is complete and sent to China.
FCC: Families with Children from China: www.fwcc.org
IA: International Adoption
I-600: Petition to Classify Orphan as an Immediate Relative
I-600A: Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition
I-171H: US federal approval to adopt foreign-born child
I-797: The new I-171H
LID: Log In Date (official date recorded in CCAA logs) (This means they've receive and approved your dossier!)
LOI: Letter Of Intent (Used in special needs (SN) adoptions)
NSN: Non-Special Needs
PA: Permission to Adopt (SN adoptions)
SN: Special Needs
SW: Social Worker
TA: Travel Approval
USCIS: US Customs & Immigration Services (Dept. of Homeland Security)
WC: Waiting Child (This a child has a physical handicap or is an older child)

It's in the mail !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Our application is in the mail! Troy and I are both just grinning at each other. I paid for "Delivery Confirmation" just so I could have a mail receipt to tuck into a future baby book. :)

Sweet moment

My mom shared this story with me and I just thought it was so sweet. She said she and Lily had been shopping in Costco earlier this week. While they were looking around, a young Asian mom and a little girl -- around 1 or 2 walked by. She said Lily stared at the baby, with a mixture of curiosity and new awareness, and then said (quietly and almost to herself), "Sister." Then she smiled.