Today is a huge day in our journey toward adoption. We've compiled all of the initial information (1st step in the paper chase) and we've finished filling out our application to CCAI. I will mail it tomorrow. We're so excited!! It's like taking a giant leap off a cliff......
Interstingly, I feel exactly as I always have whenever we've decided to start officially "trying" for a birth child. Nervous, excited, emotional, distracted, hopeful... It's all so overwhelming and excitng -- and now we're just praying that God will help all of the details fall into place and we'll be united with just the child meant to be with us!
The journey has OFFICIALLY begun...
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Wednesday, August 30, 2006
Procrastination....
Troy and I are meeting with the insurance agent tomorrow....and along those same lines, we *need* to get our will done. We've talked about it, put it off, bought the computer program, personally know 2 notary publics....but have we made the will? No. Do we need to do that? Yes. THIS WEEKEND. Done.
I love my husband.
Last night, feeling emotional and exhausted by all the changes we've been through in the last several weeks ~ as well as nervous about the upcoming paper chase and obstacle course we're facing with our adoption, I just starting venting to Troy. As usual, he listened and really helped me regain my focus.
A friend had asked me recently, "Are you prepared for your adoption to *not* be a storybook experience?" I said, "Yes, of course." But then I started feeling wiggling doubts.
I sat with Troy and really shared my worries, and he reminded me that there is never a guarantee a child's life will be storybook. "Look at Lily's arrival as an example," he said. "Everything was looking good and suddenly she has atrial tachycardia and has to be taken to Children's Mercy hospital for treatment. Thankfully, she is fine, but that certainly wasn't what we had scripted."
And he is right. Either we believe God is leading us and in control, or we don't. Fear shouldn't be part of the equation.
A friend had asked me recently, "Are you prepared for your adoption to *not* be a storybook experience?" I said, "Yes, of course." But then I started feeling wiggling doubts.
I sat with Troy and really shared my worries, and he reminded me that there is never a guarantee a child's life will be storybook. "Look at Lily's arrival as an example," he said. "Everything was looking good and suddenly she has atrial tachycardia and has to be taken to Children's Mercy hospital for treatment. Thankfully, she is fine, but that certainly wasn't what we had scripted."
And he is right. Either we believe God is leading us and in control, or we don't. Fear shouldn't be part of the equation.
Monday, August 28, 2006
Interesting musings...
I found a blog by a Korean adoptee and I'm intrigued by her perspective. So many things I've been mulling over about our upcoming adoption, she reflects.
Her writiing is vulnerable, transparent, bold, a tinge angry and utterly heart-renching at times. Here is one of the most interesting of her recent posts.
http://twicetherice.wordpress.com/2006/08/18/adoption-in-the-land-of-make-believe/#more-569
Excerpt:
“An invisible red thread connects those that are destined to meet regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may tangle but will never break.” ~ Ancient Chinese proverb
I am so glad (I’d even venture so far as to say “grateful”! OMG!) that my parents never threw this kind of “destiny” mumbo jumbo in my face — much less this Orientalist brand of destiny talk in the corresponding calligraphic font.
As if my Korean mother was destined to be abused and not allowed to keep her fourth-born child, and as if I was destined to be merely birthed from her Korean body so that my Korean body could come of age in a white Scandinavian-American community in the dairy-rich U.S. heartland.
Destiny? Fate? That’s too much sugar for me to stomach, and I wouldn’t insult my parents’ intelligence by asking them if they subscribe to this kind of artificially sweetened goo.
Big picture: I think it’s a pretty bizarre thing that I should be born to a family of five in Seoul, yet wind up the youngest daughter of white Americans of Swedish lineage on a farm in Iowa. Far from wishing for a different family, I embrace my family and see them as nothing less — yet at the same time, I’m unwilling to minimize the significance of my Korean family and the ethnic heritage that’s as plain as the nose on my face.
I will not relinquish my cultural birthrights to convenient bits of lore that are plagiarized, contorted and respelled as “F-A-T-E.”
Fate and destiny are nice ideas for fortune cookies, but I will not abide by the suggestion that children are destined for abandonment or abduction, or that mothers are destined for abuse, poverty, rape and coercion.
As a fantastic KAD friend of mine summed it up, ascribing adoption to “destiny” absolves everyone of responsibility.
“Destiny” is a two-sided pacifier to comfort the APs who swear by it and to silence the adoptees who dare to ask questions.
Brave stuff indeed. It isn't that I don't love the "idea" of ladybugs and moonbeams and red threads and destiny... But how can I wish abandonment on any child? Troy and I are not destined to adopt...any more than our daughter will have been destined to be abandoned. Instead, we are making a choice. A decision. An agreement we feel God is leading us to make -- to love and cherish a daughter from China.
Her writiing is vulnerable, transparent, bold, a tinge angry and utterly heart-renching at times. Here is one of the most interesting of her recent posts.
http://twicetherice.wordpress.com/2006/08/18/adoption-in-the-land-of-make-believe/#more-569
Excerpt:
“An invisible red thread connects those that are destined to meet regardless of time, place, or circumstance. The thread may tangle but will never break.” ~ Ancient Chinese proverb
I am so glad (I’d even venture so far as to say “grateful”! OMG!) that my parents never threw this kind of “destiny” mumbo jumbo in my face — much less this Orientalist brand of destiny talk in the corresponding calligraphic font.
As if my Korean mother was destined to be abused and not allowed to keep her fourth-born child, and as if I was destined to be merely birthed from her Korean body so that my Korean body could come of age in a white Scandinavian-American community in the dairy-rich U.S. heartland.
Destiny? Fate? That’s too much sugar for me to stomach, and I wouldn’t insult my parents’ intelligence by asking them if they subscribe to this kind of artificially sweetened goo.
Big picture: I think it’s a pretty bizarre thing that I should be born to a family of five in Seoul, yet wind up the youngest daughter of white Americans of Swedish lineage on a farm in Iowa. Far from wishing for a different family, I embrace my family and see them as nothing less — yet at the same time, I’m unwilling to minimize the significance of my Korean family and the ethnic heritage that’s as plain as the nose on my face.
I will not relinquish my cultural birthrights to convenient bits of lore that are plagiarized, contorted and respelled as “F-A-T-E.”
Fate and destiny are nice ideas for fortune cookies, but I will not abide by the suggestion that children are destined for abandonment or abduction, or that mothers are destined for abuse, poverty, rape and coercion.
As a fantastic KAD friend of mine summed it up, ascribing adoption to “destiny” absolves everyone of responsibility.
“Destiny” is a two-sided pacifier to comfort the APs who swear by it and to silence the adoptees who dare to ask questions.
Brave stuff indeed. It isn't that I don't love the "idea" of ladybugs and moonbeams and red threads and destiny... But how can I wish abandonment on any child? Troy and I are not destined to adopt...any more than our daughter will have been destined to be abandoned. Instead, we are making a choice. A decision. An agreement we feel God is leading us to make -- to love and cherish a daughter from China.
Books, books and more books
As always, I'm spending my time reading and researching like a madwoman. :) Here are a few of the books I've read so far. I've tried the list the books I've found to be extremely interesting and helpful:
Daughter from Afar, by Sarah Lynn Woodard
Intercountry Adoption From China -- Examining Cultural Hertiage & Other Postadoption Issues, by Jay Rojewski
The Lost Daughters of China, by Karin Evins
Wanting a Daughter, Needing a Son, by Kay Ann Johnson
From China with Love, by Emily Buchanan
Are Those Your Children? by Cheri Register
Beyond Good Intentions by Cheri Register
Wild Swans, by Jung Chang
Daughter of the River, by Hong Ying
When the wait gets long, I'm wanting to spend some time studying the history of China, Mao, cultural revolution, etc.
Daughter from Afar, by Sarah Lynn Woodard
Intercountry Adoption From China -- Examining Cultural Hertiage & Other Postadoption Issues, by Jay Rojewski
The Lost Daughters of China, by Karin Evins
Wanting a Daughter, Needing a Son, by Kay Ann Johnson
From China with Love, by Emily Buchanan
Are Those Your Children? by Cheri Register
Beyond Good Intentions by Cheri Register
Wild Swans, by Jung Chang
Daughter of the River, by Hong Ying
When the wait gets long, I'm wanting to spend some time studying the history of China, Mao, cultural revolution, etc.
Pre-pre-paper chase
When couples begin compiling the *endless* things required for the dossier that is sent to China, it is commonly referred to as "The Paper Chase." Troy and I just beginning this whole process, but we've got a few things done.
So far we have:
* Received brand-spanking new copies of our birth certificates
* Applied for and received our passports
* Filled out our agency application and in so doing, found a few things we need to get organized before we send it in.
This last point led us to call our new life insurance agent, Blake Stanley, to help us procure some life insurance for me. Then, if something happens, Troy will have $$ for child care help, etc. It's depressing, but smart ~ so I'm going with it. :) As soon as we have this nailed down, we'll be able to include that provision on our application and then send it in.
So far we have:
* Received brand-spanking new copies of our birth certificates
* Applied for and received our passports
* Filled out our agency application and in so doing, found a few things we need to get organized before we send it in.
This last point led us to call our new life insurance agent, Blake Stanley, to help us procure some life insurance for me. Then, if something happens, Troy will have $$ for child care help, etc. It's depressing, but smart ~ so I'm going with it. :) As soon as we have this nailed down, we'll be able to include that provision on our application and then send it in.
Wednesday, August 23, 2006
We have decided on our agency...
We have decided to work with CCAI (Chinese Children Adoption International) as our agency. They have a wonderful 16 year history and were recommended highly by our dear friends, the Wilburns. Dan & Laurie have adopted twice through CCAI and we are looking forward to a similar experience.
I called CCAI today and talked through some of questions I had regarding our application. It's unbelievable how many details and papers are involved in this process! None of them seem insurmountable, but it is certainly daunting at first. We're praying and taking one step at a time.
Tomorrow, I'm going to sit down with Troy and fill out the application (I did the first draft today). I'll need to make a photocopy of the application for our records and attach the extra papers I've typed up as well. They pose a question like, "Why do want to adopt from China?" and then leave you one line to fill in an answer. Ummm....not long enough folks! :) I wrote several paragraphs and just jotted in "Please see attached paper" on the application. :)
I'll post as soon as we've mailed it!
I called CCAI today and talked through some of questions I had regarding our application. It's unbelievable how many details and papers are involved in this process! None of them seem insurmountable, but it is certainly daunting at first. We're praying and taking one step at a time.
Tomorrow, I'm going to sit down with Troy and fill out the application (I did the first draft today). I'll need to make a photocopy of the application for our records and attach the extra papers I've typed up as well. They pose a question like, "Why do want to adopt from China?" and then leave you one line to fill in an answer. Ummm....not long enough folks! :) I wrote several paragraphs and just jotted in "Please see attached paper" on the application. :)
I'll post as soon as we've mailed it!
Beginning the journey
Tonight I decided to start a little online journal. If for no one else, it will be a place for Troy and I to record our thoughts and experiences as we start down the road to adopting our fourth child!
God has richly blessed us with three of the most amazing children on the planet. :) Our daughter, Lily, is smart and confident and kind and we are constantly amazed at all she knows and shares. Colby, our son, is funny and strong and loves to be the other "mister" in the house. And Landry, sweet baby Landry, is such a joy! She makes us laugh and is the best cuddler.
But somehow, our family doesn't yet feel complete! We believe there is one more precious daughter out there for us in China, and we're starting down the road to find her. We are so excited to at the beginning of this journey and although it is a long road ahead of us, we are anxious to get started!
God has richly blessed us with three of the most amazing children on the planet. :) Our daughter, Lily, is smart and confident and kind and we are constantly amazed at all she knows and shares. Colby, our son, is funny and strong and loves to be the other "mister" in the house. And Landry, sweet baby Landry, is such a joy! She makes us laugh and is the best cuddler.
But somehow, our family doesn't yet feel complete! We believe there is one more precious daughter out there for us in China, and we're starting down the road to find her. We are so excited to at the beginning of this journey and although it is a long road ahead of us, we are anxious to get started!
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