Questions for Laney's Nanny...

We'll be meeting Laney's care giver (nanny) either in Nanning or when we visit the orphanage in Guiping. It's important, if given the opportunity, that I have a list of questions ready to ask. This might be my only chance to gain insight into what my daughter's world was like before we arrived...what her dislikes/likes are, etc.

Here are some of the things we hope to ask:


1) Does she have any allergies to foods, medicines?


2) Is she prone to any particular illnesses or infections?


3) What is her nickname, or the name she was called daily?


4) When she is upset, what soothes her best?


5) When she is playing, what is her favorite toy?


6) What foods does she eat? How often does she eat? How much?


7) What are her sleep habits? Does she sleep with a light on? Does she sleep alone?


8) What is she able to do? What toys does she like to play with?


9) Was there a note found with the child? If so, may we please have a copy?


10) Are there any photos of Xiao Nian we can have?


11) May we have copies of her medical records?

12) What do you wish for Jin Yu Rao's future?

Waiting now is so much harder...

Now that we have a match...we're holding Laney's picture...dreaming of seeing her and bringing her home ~ each day seems like ten. The wait is so hard!

This week I'm working on pre-packing lists. Trying to figure out all the things we'll need to take with us and see what we're missing and what I can start buying now.

Laney's care package...

Lily and I got to spend some wonderful mommy/daughter time yesterday. We went and bought things for Laney's care package! Yay!! Our agency provides us with the orphanage address (in Mandarin and English so it will get there faster!), and even a letter translated into Mandarin so the nannies & director will understand who the things are intended for. We're sending Laney a rattle (Lily picked it out!), a little outfit (guessing on the size!), a soft, snuggly blankie-bear, and a baby photo album of her new family. CCAI gave us labels for the pictures (mommy, daddy, big sister, etc.) in Mandarin, so hopefully her nanny can begin sharing those with her. It's probably a long shot, but she'll be almost 17 months by the time we bring her home, and she might feel more comfortable those first few days if she's seen us before.

We tucked in a disposable camera (labeled with her name in Chinese), included a request that the nannies take pictures of her and her surroundings, favorite toys, etc. Sometimes they won't or don't, but CCAI said the orphanages are usually very good about this and they'll bring the camera with her when they deliver the babies in China.

I also included four bottles of scented lotion, each wrapped in red tissue paper, and labeled for the orphanage director and her nannies. When we pick up Laney, we're expected to present gifts for each of the people who cared for her. And in the care packages, it's customary to include a few things as well.

Praying this package arrives safely and swiftly! Laney, we're truly coming for you, sweet one!

Had a fabulous surprise last night...

Four of my dearest friends surprised me last night (around 8:30) and showed up at my house to "kidnap" me for an evening of fun and Laney celebration. It was one of the sweetest things! We went to Starbucks (they know what I love! LOL!) and we laughed and talked and dreamed about my newest baby. My friend, Laurie Mac, brought me the most adorable little dress that one of her girls wore. It just melted my heart! And another friend, Laurie W (who has two children from China), brought me several of these beautiful traditional Chinese silk dresses that her daughter had worn. She had saved them for Laney.

*cue happy tears*

I loved each moment I experienced with those friends last night. Crystal has such huge heart. Katie is so full of joy and what an encourager! Laurie W is beautifully tender and brilliantly wise at the same time. Laurie Mac has empathy and is able to verbalize what I'm thinking when the words escape me. I love having friends who celebrate with me in such a personal and specific way! My heart was full last night.

And I slept until 6 am this morning! I was thrilled! Let me explain....Since we received our referral call, I have not been sleeping. Just too excited. :) My friend Jess, who is also adopting, says that when you're pregnant you can't sleep because the baby-in-your-belly gets in the way. And when you're adopting you can't sleep because your baby is so far away. So true. So the girls prayed for me last night, that I would be able to sleep. And I came home and slept peacefully. It was lovely. :)

Our Timeline

For those of you reading my blog who are in-process, or beginning the process, it is sometimes helpful to see the timeline of events. Clearly, we did not expect to receive a referral just 6 weeks after our LID! That was a beautiful surprise. Our baby came to us from the waiting child list and so we received that amazing phone call about 2 years earlier than we anticipated. We are so grateful! Everything else about our timeline/dossier compilation, however, seems to be fairly consistent with what you can expect.


July 2006 -- We began talking in earnest about adopting from China

August 21, 2006 -- Made the decision to apply to CCAI

August 31, 2006 -- Completed the CCAI application

September 1, 2006 -- Mailed application to CCAI

September 5, 2006 -- Application arrived

September 6, 2006 -- Mailed in Waiting Child Checklist

Setepmber 9, 2006 -- CCAI approved our application

September 12, 2006 -- Selected & called our social worker

October 11, 2006 -- Began our homestudy

November 27, 2006 -- Homestudy was completed

December 6, 2006 -- Visited USCIS for fingerprinting & I-600A

January 19, 2007 -- Dossier sent for Authentication

February 15, 2007 -- Received I-171H in the mail

March 2, 2007 -- Completed Dossier mailed to CCAI

March 9, 2007 - We’re DTC!

March 23, 2007 -- Official LID!

May 1st, 2007 -- Referral Day! We met precious Jin Yu Rao! What a joyful surprise!

Travel? (stay tuned....)

Laney's birth place....

Nanning is the capital city of Guangxi, and Laney's city (Guiping) is four hours due east from Nanning.

Changed our ticker...

We had a ticker counting down from our LID to when Laney comes home. Yesterday, when we received "the call" we were at 1 month, 1 week waiting.

Now, we've started a new ticker to help count down the days from when we received her referral. Having her picture now, knowing just a bit about who she is, seeing her face...this next wait will be even harder than the last six months. We want her in our arms!

Counting the days...

A moment that takes your breath away....

How much can change in one day? Everything!

This morning, at 9:30am, we received a call from our adoption agency that would change the lives of six people....Troy, Becky, Lily, Colby, Landry and a precious baby in China.

This morning, we received a referral call for our daughter...Laney Kate!!!

We expected to receive that amazing call in late 2008. I had a different trip to China planned for this summer. We had a cruise planned for next spring. Everything was organized...The God crashed in with a plan far better than we could imagine.

This morning, we were referred precious Jin Yu Rao...age 13 months. Her name means Beautiful & Charming.

She was born in Guiping City, Guangxi, China, March 21st, 2006. We hope to fly and bring her home as soon as this August or September!

She was only 5 pounds when she was born and was considered premature. She has yet to catch up weight-wise...still very small (10# at 6 months old), and so she was placed on the Waiting Child list -- considered special needs. But developmentally (mentally and physically) she is completely on target. Pulling up, standing when holding on to someone's hand, babbling appropriately, etc. She is 100% healthy... still just very petite. Petite is FINE with us. :)

We got the call this morning. Quickly made calls to my sister & parents. And then at 4:30pm we called CCAI and confirmed that we would love the honor of being her mamma and daddy!

Tonight, we enjoyed a dinner of Chinese food (in honor of the day!) and red velvet cake for dessert. :) Then we showed our three sweet munchkins their new sister's picture! They were so excited they were singing and dancing!

Here is a picture of our baby girl....


We would love any and all prayers for the following:

~ That Laney would sense in her spirit, even now, peace and hope
~ That she would remain healthy & safe
~ That we would have grace poured over our remaining paper work & travel plans
~ That the finances would all come together smoothly
~ That our family would feel a collective excitement and we would remain in good humor and grace-giving to each other...even if things get stressful ;)

Relaxing...

We're on vacation in Ludington this week and next. It's been wonderful to relax and decompress after a hectic, hectic spring! Landry is turning 2 tomorrow...Colby is turning 5 next week (23rd). My little ones are getting big! On one hand, thinking about it makes my eyes tear up. On the other hand, it's really a blessing and loads of fun to see my munchkins growing up.

I'll post pictures of the birthday kids after their party on Saturday. :)

Easter creations...

Today, my mom and I had a wonderful time working on a cake for Easter dessert. We used a bunny mold I found at Williams-Sonoma and it turned out so cute! We used a vanilla poundcake for the bunny, chocolate-covered espresso beans for his eyes, buttercream frosting for his "middle" (between the two halves) and we sprinkled him with some powdered sugar.



Then we worked on making one of those old-fashioned "peek inside" sugar Easter eggs. We used a sugar/meringue powder mixture and patted it into an egg mold. Baked it, and then hollowed it out. I tried to take a picture through the hole, but it's too dark. We tucked little vintage cut-outs of ducklings, rabbits and a pond you can see when you look in the end. The kids are going to love it! The egg is huge. You definitely have to hold it with both hands. :)

The wait....

I keep popping in to my own blog and noticing the cute ticker I added...and realizing that the wait for Laney (around 18 months) is a really, really, really long time. I'm going to have to start adding "and in other news..." sections to my blog so those of you reading don't get tired of continuing to see "Still waiting" posts. :)

So, here..And in other completely unrelated news, my hubby bought me the most fabulous Easter gift. He got me a bottle of Tom Ford's 2007 summer fragrance release from Estee Lauder -- Azuree Soleil Eau Fraiche Skinscent. I bought the LE body oil, similar scent, last year and loved it. This edt is even better! The notes include tiare (gardenia), orange blossom, jasmine, magnolia petals, myrrh, bergamot, mandarin, amber, sandalwood, vetiver, caramel and coconut cream.



It is tropical-beachy, all things girly and summery...a perfect hot weather scent. Reminds me of every warm summer night I spent with friends in college. It has a bit of the sweet smell of coconut-laden suntan oil, but never too much and with soft flowers, sea spray and even a dash of vanilla thrown in. It's absolute perfection. And Troy loves it on me too. :)

And the big brother...

Colby -- who keeps us laughing so hard with his crazy sense of humor and fearless view of life. He is so excited about being Laney's brother!

My girls...

I haven't shared many pictures of two sweet girls on this blog. I want to show you Laney's wonderful big sisters! Lily & Landry are smart and fun and such great friends. Laney is going to be a blessed baby sister. :)

Excellent letter...

I just read this letter from Amy Eldridge (Love Without Boundaries), addressing parental expectations and what kinds of preparations (both practical and emotional) China-adoptive parents need to consider. I think this is truly a must-read.


What to Expect When You're Expecting (from China)..A MUST Read for Adopting Parents

~~from Amy Eldridge


I most definitely wish there was a way to educate ALL adoptive parents about the truths of institutional care, however I have come to realize in my daily work that there are just as many parents who are not online reading everything they can find on adoption as are.

There are hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of parents out there who have no idea what life is like for a child in an orphanage, and who head overseas to pick up their "China doll" only to be handed a baby who is unresponsive, thin, unable to eat..and on and on and on. While adopting my son last month, I walked several times over to the White Swan to talk to parents, and over and over I spoke with moms and dads who had no clue whatsoever about the issues their kids were having. I heard so many times things like, "she won't eat solid foods" (oral aversion), "she has no muscle tone" (muscle atrophy from lying in a crib all day), "she won't smile" (pure grieving from being taken from her foster mom). I guess since I live China 24/7, I assume everyone adopting does, too, which is not the case.

I talked to at least a dozen parents who didn't even know their child's orphanage name, and while I gently said "you might want to memorize that for your child's sake", at the same time I was trying to process how many parents get all the way to China without ever reading about post-institutional issues. It was sobering to me.

Babies in the NSN (non special needs) as well as the SN (special needs) path can have issues with attachment, motor skills, emotional issues and more. I think all of us on the WCC (Waiting Children China) list acknowledge that, while also acknowledging that all children (whether bio or not) can have these same issues. Living in an orphanage of course increases the odds.

I think the easy out is to say that agencies have to do more, as well as social workers, but I do think that most of them do try to give information to the parents but often parents don't want to hear it or else think it won't happen to them. Again, I am often surprised to talk to parents leaving soon and to realize they are not prepared. One family was adopting from our foster care program, and when I told them that the child was DEEPLY attached to the mom, the father said, "guess she might cry for an hour or so then?" An hour or so? She had been in foster care for over a year! I tried to explain that this little girl was about ready to lose everything she had ever known, and that they should not expect her to be sunny, happy, and full of personality after an hour. I told them to please remember the 72 hour rule.......that after 72 hours they would probably see her spark, but that she would probably grieve for a long time after that as well.

I think for many adoptive parents, they just don't want to read the "bad stuff", and so I do think that ultimately it is the parents who are at fault for not doing more to educate themselves. There certainly are books galore out there about post-institutional issues. I equate this to when I was pregnant with my kids and I would read "What to Expect When Expecting", and I would get to the C-section part and always skip it. Each and every time I would jump to the next chapter as "that wasn't going to happen to me". Well, on my fifth baby, when they were rushing me in for an emergency C section, I sure was wishing I had read that section earlier! But at that point in the OR, while they were strapping my hands down to the table, it was too late, and so I felt complete panic when I could have been prepared. I think adoption from China is very similar to giving birth...it is much more rosy to only read the happy stories on APC, but I now encourage every family I meet to read the harder ones as well, because if you are the family who is handed a child that is limp and listless and who looks autistic, what you have learned in the past will help you make the right decision for your family during those very emotional first few days.

I have been called many times in the last few years by parents in China worried about their children. I agree that having a support network to help you through the initial time is essential. Everyone should go to China with at least one phone number of someone they can call if they are panicked upon meeting their new child. I remember feeling so alone when I was handed my daughter and she was so tiny and limp. Because our foundation often helps with the kids who have been disrupted, I am aware that sometimes there are children who have much more serious issues than originally reported..and that is such a hard thing for a parent to get to China and then discover their child is truly autistic or has serious mental delays. I think everyone on both the China and international side would agree that it is absolutely wrong of an orphanage to not be honest in their reports, and no one would excuse that, but I also know without a doubt that the majority of kids who are disrupted are just suffering from institutional issues and would catch up quickly in a loving home. It is always a very sad day for the orphanage and everyone involved when a child that they know is absolutely fine, but perhaps thin and grieving, is returned by their new parents for being "delayed".

I think far too many people believe their child's life is going to begin the moment they meet them. The truth is, and everyone must realize it..a child's life is going on RIGHT NOW in China, and all of their experiences are shaping who they are. The vast majority of aunties that I have met in China are such kind and caring people, but it absolutely is not the same as having a mom and dad at your beck and call. I have had new parents call and say "we didn't think living in an orphanage would affect her at all", and those statements truly puzzle me. How could they not contemplate life in an orphanage?

Walk through Babies R Us and you will see every gadget known to man to make our children's lives here as ideal as possible. Now Americans have two way video monitors, so that when baby awakens not only can mommy see when to immediately rush in and comfort him, but she can talk to baby so that he doesn't even have one single second where he feels alone. How many new parents would have a newborn and then put that baby in a crib 22 hours a day on their own? How many would only feed their baby, even if they were really crying hard, every 8 hours? Or prop the bottle in her crib and then not watch to see if she ever really ate?

Of course no one would do that..we feed newborns on demand, comfort on demand, love continuously..and whether people want to recognize it or not, that is NOT the life of an orphan in an institution. ...even when the aunties are as good as gold. I remember one night when I took some volunteers in for the night shift in an orphanage, when normally just a few aunties are working. One mom looked at me with tears in her eyes as she slowly realized that it was absolutely impossible with just two hands to feed every child, to comfort every child, to soothe every baby who was crying. She said her heart was aching to realize that her own daughter most likely had many, many times where she cried without someone to comfort her.....and she told me that for the first time she finally understood why her daughter had such a deep seated fear of being out of her mom's sight.

The aunties are trying their absolute best, but that doesn't equal mother/child care. I remember being in an orphanage in the north this past winter and the aunties were so proud of how they had 6-8 layers of clothes and blankets on every baby to keep them warm. They were swaddled so tight that they couldn't move, but it was freezing in the orphanage and so the aunties wanted the babies to stay as warm as possible. What alternative did they have? It really was freezing there..I was cold in my wool coat, so the babies couldn't be up and about with just 1-2 layers on, with the ability to move their arms and legs. To stay warm they had to be immobile, and so of course all of those kids have weak muscle tone. But the aunties were truly trying their best, and when a parent is given one of those beautiful children on adoption day, I am sure they will go back to their room with concern and say "she can't sit up by herself..she can't put weight on her legs". That is absolutely the truth, but she also survived 10 degree weather in a very cold province and she will catch up soon enough with parents to encourage her.

To not acknowledge that living in orphanage circumstances can cause lower body weights, low muscle tone, inability to make good eye contact is very sad to me. Can it be overcome? Most definitely! The one thing I have learned over and over again about the kids in China is that they are fighters and survivors. But for some reason, people seem to want to ignore these issues in public forums.

Recently, one of our medical babies that we had met several times in person was adopted, and we all knew that this child was a "spitfire". When the family arrived and spent a few days with her, they decided she was too much of a handful for them and they wanted to disrupt. She absolutely was not what they expected. When they called their agency, they were told they had two choices: adopt the child, bring her to the US, and change their expectations of what they were hoping for, or adopt the child, bring her to the US and the agency would have a family waiting at the airport to adopt her locally. Option three of leaving the child in China was never once given. I admire that agency so much, as they were thinking of the child and the child alone. The family followed through with the adoption and handed the little girl to a new family upon her arrival in the US. As horrible and tragic and emotional as it was for everyone involved...I still feel this was the right decision for the agency to make. It was done in the absolute best interest of the child, who had waited a long, long time for a family. I wish more agencies would advocate for the rights of the child, instead of always seeming to give in to the parents, especially in those cases when they know with absolute certainty that nothing is permanently wrong with the child. Recently with another disruption, the agency I spoke with told me that it was "easier" to just get the family a new baby.

Sometimes easier does not equal right. The first baby who was rejected has now been labelled "mentally challenged" even though the agency knew the child was really going to be okay.

I think all of us, who do realize that delays occur and that babies can usually overcome them, should be these children's advocates by continually trying to educate new parents on what to expect in China. By helping them be better prepared, we just might help stop a disruption in the future. I love Chinese adoption with my whole heart, and it is my life's work..but I also want every family who goes to get their baby to go with their eyes open and to be as emotionally prepared as possible, for the child's sake.

Amy Eldridge, Love Without Boundaries

What a beautiful day!!!!!!

We just received our email from CCAI, revealing the news we've been waiting to hear for six months. We have our LID (log-in-date)! The Schoeppner Family's LID is March 23, 2007. The CCAA has accepted our Adoption Petition and has put us in line to adopt a beautiful baby girl.

I am on a fluffy, pink, seriously high Cloud No. 9. This is fabulous news! We got our log-in date in just 2 weeks. It's going to be a long wait, but Laney Kate is one step closer to joining our family forever.

Our dossier is in China!

We just got an email notification that our dossier has been hand delivered to the CCAA (China Center of Adoption Affairs.)


God is good! We are thrilled. Looking forward to finding out our LID!

~~~~ We're DTC! ~~~~

We are rejoicing today. I just got the news from CCAI that we are DTC. This means: Dossier-to-China. Everything has been reviewed, translated, bound, pictures mounted and was sent to the CCAA yesterday late-afternoon via Express Mail.

This is TRULY wonderful news. We are praying for a March LID (log-in-Date) so hopefully the CCAA is moving quickly and this can still be a possibility.

Our agency has been so amazing. We are feeling blessed and excited this day!!

Laney Kate, Mama and Daddy can't wait to meet you!

I can't believe it...

We just got an email from CCAI. We've already moved through Critical Review (What a blessing!!) and our dossier has been sent to the translation department!

Here they will translate the whole dossier into Mandarin and bind it. We'll know more tomorrow or Wednesday. I'm feeling lighter than air right now! What an amazing ride this is.

CCAI has our dossier.

I just got an email from the dossier team. It arrived this morning (7:40AM) via UPS at the CCAI offices. Now we'll wait as it goes through critical review. Each dossier is actually reviewed completely by three separate people to ensure there are NO mistakes and everything is in order. :)

March 2nd......

Finally!!!!

Here are our stats:


1.5 Pounds
41 Stamps and seals
68 Signatures
15 Pictures
183 Days
8 Sets of fingerprints
13 Documents
AND
1 family with hearts full of love and hope....

We are pleased to announce that our dossier has been sent in!!!!!

I can't describe to you the relief and excitement we're feeling right now. Six months of paper chasing, certifications, authentications, home study appointments...it's all finally finished. The stress of paper work is over, now we start down a new path of stress. But it's different now.

Now, each day will bring us closer to our precious Laney Kate!

Now we wait for our agency, CCAI, to pass us through critical review. They will translate our dossier into Mandarin, bind it, place our picture on the cover and send it to China. Our next big step will be when we receive our LID (log-in date). China will "log" us into the system and we'll be officially on the list!

March 2nd -- This has been a great day!